I guess I'll start from the beginning...
In the seventh grade some crappy stuff happened and I lost all my friends because of a girl who spread rumors about me. I had a rough time after that and became withdrawn and anti-social. Before that, I was very outspoken, outgoing, and made friends easily. I suppose that before 7th grade I pretty much just trusted people and didn't question them. Naive...haha. Well it's been almost 4 years and things have gotten better...I have a very small group of friends...but I don't trust them.
My one best friend I've known since 8th grade, but I still don't tell her things about my personal life. I should trust her...she's never given me a reason not to..but I just can't bring myself to do that.
And it's not only my friends that I don't trust. It's pretty much anyone. If someone says something like they like my shirt, I automatically doubt them and figure that they're just making fun of me.
How can I get over these stupid feelings?!?! It's completely irrational...!I need some advice to get over these trust issues...?
It is completely rational to be a little leery of fully trusting others. However, once people have shown you that they deserve your trust, it is imperative that you do start trusting them in order to have a complete, healthy, and happy friendship/relationship. It is okay to keep your deepest secrets to yourself. I have secrets that I haven't told my best friend (of 16 years) or my boyfriend (of 2 years). But I still confide in both of them a lot. The best way is to start small. Tell your best friend a secret. Not a secret that you would be completely devastated if it got out, but a small secret that you haven't told anybody else. If that goes around school, maybe this isn't a friend that you should tell secrets too. I have some friends that are great to hang out with, but who I do not confide in for this reason. Also remember that what happened in 7th grade was tough to go through, but middle school is probably the worst time in many Americans lives. Middle school kids (and girls especially) can be just vicious. High school is not as bad, and it gets better after that. There will always be mean people who you shouldn't trust, but it is important to give most people a chance if they show you they deserve it.I need some advice to get over these trust issues...?
calm down, not everyone is like that. i wouldnt go around telling everyone my business, but if its a close friend share things with her. most people wont go around telling people your business, just talk to your closer friends, and dont go spilling out to them, slowly ease it on them, tell them things that arent so deep and then work from there. there are many people you can trust, just relax, learning to trust your closest friend will help you trust others
yeah trust broken can take toll on our faith in people for sure. I am sorry for what happened with the rumors. One thing you have to ask yourself is weather your deepest secrets are something you really need to share with your friends. I have kept some things to myself at times because I could be sorry for letting people know. Most people only confide in one or two people for a reason. People sometimes use things against us down the road. We also find that people lie after we confide in them and secretly judge us. No one wants those things to happen to them. The main thing is that you pick what you want to share with people and don't tell people the risky things that you could be sorry for later. You are really your own best friend when it comes down to it.
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